Were any of those gowns really that bad? Probably not. But statics say that one out of the three, five or ten girls was bound to hate them. It’s simple math. So, what’s a bride to do?
Choose an Ombre Color Palette
Your wedding is a blank canvas. So why not splash around a little color, starting with your wedding party. If you want to play it safe, pick colors within one shade family. For bolder brides, pick complementary but contrasting colors.
TIP: Hit the hardware store’s paint section for inspiration. The paint swatches are a great way to mix and match color schemes. Just be careful with too many pinks: you want to avoid a Pepto Bismol effect.
Mix and Match Styles
If you have fashion-savvy bridesmaids, let them do the legwork and pick a style of gown they like (I did). Keep in mind that when they helped you pick YOUR gown, they wanted you to feel gorgeous, confident and comfortable. It’s time to return the favor. A happy bridesmaid will not only make for a prettier picture (no grimacing here!), but will also be more content to help you out on the wedding day.
TIP: Look for a designer that has an assortment of gowns in either the same color, or fabric. Dessy, After Six, Bari Jay, and even Nicole Miller (on the pricier end) have a ton of options.
Allow your bridesmaids to choose what they look and feel best in, and hey, they might end up with something that they’ll actually wear again!
I’ve been a bossy person since birth. Can’t you just tell from this image that one of these little girls MEANS BUSINESS?
But when it comes to being a bride, I’ve hung my Type-A personality in the closet — this fashionista knows better than to accessorize a white dress with little red-horns.
So how can you tell if you fall into that dreaded (and devilishly disastrous) Bridezilla-zone? Here are 10 signs that you need to revamp your bridal style.
1. Living in the Lonely Land of “Me” and “I”. You’re engaged, you’re excited, and you’re entitled to a little “me” and “I” time. However, while your friends and family are excited for you, it’s YOUR wedding — not theirs. Avoid making outrageous requests or demands of other people (your fiance included!).
2. Blowing Your Budget. Take it from this bride, you’re going to go over budget. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PLAN, YOU WILL GO OVER YOUR BUDGET. That said, there’s a difference between shelling out a little extra and putting yourself (or worse, your parents) in the poor house. Remember: An expensive wedding does not guarantee a fun time, and starting your life together in debt doesn’t pave the road for a good marriage.
3. Facebook friends are taking cover. If you have significantly fewer friends than you did when you got engaged, you’re a Bridezilla.
4. Bridesmaid Breakdown. Has your maid-of-honor had a meltdown? Did you make the flower-girl cry? SHAME ON YOU! Your bridal party does have some responsibilities to help the day go smoothly, but not to cater to your every whim.
5. You think your wedding day is about you. If you want to have a “great” wedding, you need to consider your guests. On your wedding day you are not just a bride, you are a host. Remember: Booze, music and food are keys to a great time for all.
6. Forgotten Fiance. I get that men just don’t get it. However, don’t forget that this is about him, too! Be sure to schedule some time together that is not solely focused on floral arrangements.
7. A Registry for the 1 percent. It’s okay to put a few pricey things on a registry (heck, you might even get them!) But your registry shouldn’t cost more than a college education, or resemble a walk down 5th Avenue. Stick to the tried and true: Bed, Bath & Beyond; Pottery Barn; Macy’s. Be sure to include items in a wide-range of prices as well.
8. Planes, Trains, Automobiles. It’s one thing to have a destination wedding, it’s a whole different ballgame to ask 150 people to travel via plane, then bus, then donkey to get to your remote island of who-the-hell-does-she-think-she-is.
9. The Rexias. That’s tanorexia, planorexia, and of course, anorexia. Extreme tanning, planning, and dieting are the very foundation that Bridezillas are built upon.
10. Someone calls you a b-tch. Planning an event this big can be stressful at times. But if planning the most wonderful day of your life means that you’ve forgotten basic communication skills and etiquette … BRIDEZILLA!
Do YOU have any Bridezilla tales? Post them below for all to enjoy!
2012 was a roller-coaster of a year.
I lost my future mother-in-law, a woman I not only really liked, but one I was really looking forward to getting to know.
I made the brave (and utterly terrifying) decision to leave a job where I had worked for over a decade, for a company I had never even heard of!
I questioned my self worth, shut down the blog, and lost close to ten pounds from stress (okay, that last one was actually awesome!)
To put it plainly, I gave up.
Things got tough. And. I. Gave. Up.
But when I thought about resurrecting the blog, and started writing this post, I realized there was a lot of “I” going on, and not a lot of “we” — when I do, in fact, have a huge network of support and love (most of you are even fans of this blog): friends who would do anything (including trek to Florida to see my wedding), a mother who I still learn new things about EVERY DAY, and most importantly, a man who still wants to marry me despite one hell of a year.
So in the spirit of a new year …
… of knowing when you can do it alone and when you really need help (and not being afraid to ask for it) …
… of taking big risks (and SUCCEEDING!) …
… of accepting your faults, facing your critics, and dropping weight you don’t need (both physical and emotional) …
I’m so happy to announce that The Modern Miss is back, and here to help YOU get though YOUR tough times. Whether you’re a bride-to-be, or just need some friendly advice, you can send me your questions or find me on Facebook.
Oh yeah, hate on haters.
I have two pet peeves: people who are rude in the morning and chipping my nails. Few things annoy me as much as spending an hour in the salon, only to smudge my manicure as I walk out the door – I certainly want to avoid this on my wedding day at all costs! So when my nail technician told me about the new gel and Shellac manicures that supposedly don’t chip and last for roughly two weeks, I was intrigued. After trying them out, I know what I’ll be wearing on my big day (and honeymoon too!). But which one is right for you, and is there really a difference?
What are gel and Shellac manicures?
To put it simply, in a gel manicure, a coat of colored “gel” (that looks like nail polish) is applied to the nails. After each coat, you put your hands under a UV light to cure (dry) the gel. A number of brands including OPI and Bio Sculpture Gel produce gel polishes. “Shellac,” a technology invented by Creative Nail Design, is similar to a gel manicure in that it also uses UV light to cure each coat.
How are they applied?
Both the gel and Shellac manicures start out like a normal manicure; nails are shaped with a file, and cuticles are pushed back (since I know you don’t cut them!). The next step is to apply a base coat, followed by two coats of either gel or shellac, and then finished with a top coat. Where the process differs from a regular manicure, is that in between each coat of polish, you dry your hands under a UV light for about 30 seconds to a minute. Here’s the real kicker: after the last blast of UV light YOUR NAILS ARE DRY! No waiting under a fan and no chance of smudging – it’s a dream come true.
How long does it last?
In general, both the gel and shellac manicures claim to last up to two weeks – and they do! After two weeks they may begin to peel, but the real issue, is that your own nails grow out, leaving an unpolished band near the cuticle. Thus, the “two weeks” sell. With regular polish, after a few days, the top coat begins to dull – with gel and Shellac, they look as shiny on day 14 as they did on day 1.
How are they removed?
Both gel and Shellac are removed by wrapping the nail in acetone, either with special nail wraps, or with a cotton ball soaked in acetone. Do not soak your entire finger tip in a bowl of acetone, as it will dry out your hands and can irritate the skin.
How are they different?
Without getting into the science behind the formulas, and after trying both types, I prefer the Shellac manicure by CND because it takes about a third of the time to soak off. And to be completely honest, both types do a little damage to the nail (since they have to buff off excess polish).
All things considered, if you, like me, cannot stand chipping your nails, or have too little patience to let them dry, this is a perfect choice. I also highly recommend this type of manicure for brides because of it’s durability, and the fact that you can whisk off to your honeymoon without stopping in at the salon first!
If you’re a woman who accessorizes with perfume, consider this: according to men, you might stink! Since American’s spend close to $5 billion on fragrance a year, it’s time to make sure we’re getting our money’s worth. We decided to ask men about what they like and don’t like in a women’s scent. Check out the surprising responses before you hit the fragrance counter.
Avoid “grandma scents”:
Certain scents reminisce memories, and your scent certainly should not bring up memories of grandma. As eloquently put by one man, “I hate any pungent smell that, with my eyes closed, makes me feel like I’m hugging my grandmother. It’s a concoction somewhere between potpourri and church incense.” Another told us, “Tea Rose smells like Grandma at a quilting bee. Whenever a younger woman is wearing it she immediately looks like my Nana to me.”
Flowery perfumes failed the test:
Across the board, men were against floral scents, one even said that, “Overly flowery and sweet is a turn off.” A few men said that floral perfumes remind them of old women (see above). However, the current aversion to flowery perfumes could be due to factors beyond the nose’s knowing. According to Sue Phillips, an expert in “scentology” and president of Scenterprises, “In the same way that Socio, Political and Economic trends fluctuate over the decades, the distinctive fragrance trends have gone from the bold, heavy, robust florals of the 1980’s (reflecting the strong economic boom), to the watery, transparent, ozonic notes of the 1990s, like L’Eau d’issey (depicting the economic retrenchment and less extravagant financial times).” She added, “The new millennium brought about a nostalgia for the ‘good old days’ and many “oldie” fragrances enjoyed a resurgence – Shalimar and Chanel.”
A safe bet? Vanilla and fruit scents:
According to Phillips, many men enjoy a perfume that reminds them of their childhood: a time that was uncomplicated and sweet. She suggests finding a scent with warm vanilla notes, like Angel by Thierry Mugler. One man told us that he loves the fruity perfumed products from Victoria’s Secret, however, be careful not to combine too many sweet scents. “The worst thing a girl can do is put perfume on and then different scented lotions. I don’t want my girl to smell like a tanning bed.” We couldn’t agree more – use scented body products sparingly.
And always remember, spritz lightly:
No matter which scent you choose, don’t overdo it. According to one guy, there’s few things less sexy “than the overbearing smell of perfume.” No man (or woman) wants to taste your perfume in the air. The safest way to apply perfume is to spray it in front of you, then walk into the mist. If it’s a roller-ball applicator, dab (don’t roll) it behind the ears and on the wrists. Women should take caution spraying perfume on their décolleté; it can actually cause discoloration of the skin over time.
Remember ladies, ’tis better to ask, then to make him sneeze. For more fun on Friday, check out these slide shows Fox News Magazine!
It’s been a while my little misses … and well, I miss you.
I’ve been so busy with life, I fear I’ve neglected you – so I’ve decided to make up for it with this fun piece, because it’s Friday and you deserve it.
I assembled this slideshow for Fox News Magazine:
The secret to youth might be acting your age, but that doesn’t mean that the older you get, the less silly you can be! A slew of senior citizens are taking the world’s view on age and turning it upside down – Betty White’s new TV series, “Off Their Rockers,” features senior citizens who prank people, and now, one grandmother is about to show us all that you’re never too old to be young.
In his photo book, MAMIKA, author and photographer Sacha Goldberger introduces us to the most adorable superhero: his 93-year-old grandmother, Frederika Goldberger. Known to her fans as “Mamika,” which is Hungarian for “my little grandma,” she might be one of the coolest women I’ve ever seen. Here’s a preview for the slideshow, but click here to see more!
Eco-Friendly Binoculars: “This is very convenient if you’re looking for someone who’s often mooning.
Setup: 5 Minutes
2 pairs of guests (with a pinch of humor)
1 cordless telephone
1 phone book
A half-hour before dinnertime, use left hand to hold cordless phone. Open phone book to the “caterers.” Next, move right-hand fingers around the phone’s keypad. Stew for a few seconds. Bring phone to ear and say, “One paprika chicken, please!”
Spring cleaning isn’t just about the closet. I mean, nothing makes me happier than trading in my sweaters for sundresses, but the changing weather is also a reminder to clean out the beauty cabinet, too! And like that wool trench coat, the heavy moisturizers and makeup need to be put away, or better yet thrown away! Chanel might never go out of style but old cosmetics certainly do. So here’s a list to help you decide what to keep, what to store, and what to toss.
Mascara: The beauty fanatics say to replace your mascara every three months, but I’ve used them for up to six months without any problems. The trick is to avoid “pumping” the wand. The only thing it does is introduce air into the mascara and if pumping is the only way to get some mascara onto the brush, it’s time to go to the drugstore and buy a new one. Another trick I’ve picked up is that most of the high-end mascaras work so well because of the brush design. So if you bought an expensive brand that you love, try washing the brush off and then using it with a less expensive version (this can be messy, but after a good scrub it should be as good as new.) Stick to the same type of mascara though … so if the brush you are saving was for volumizing, look for volumizing mascara. Also, never share any eye products – eye infections aren’t pretty.
Eye and lip liners: These can last up to three years. Just sharpen them often and that will help them stay sanitary and fresh. If they start to crumble, toss ‘em. Most likely you’ll use it up before it goes bad, but if the wood begins to splinter, toss it. Also, avoid sharing these for sanitary reasons.
Lipsticks and gloss: These last about a year, although I’ve found that the “long lasting” lipsticks tend to dry out faster.
Foundation: The shelf life for these varies according to the formula but in general, cream-based foundation lasts about six months to a year. Foundation with SPF tends to go bad more quickly but because most people use this daily, foundation generally runs out before it expires. If the color or smell changes, it’s time to buy a new one.
Eye shadow, blush, and powder: In all honesty, I recently found the eye shadow I bought with my first “New Kids on the Block” album, and like my old cassette tape, the Wet n’ Wild shadow needs to be tossed. These last about two to three years though. If the powder starts to cake you should get a new one. Also, using clean makeup brushes and sponges will help these stay bacteria free
Nail polish: These can last up to a few years. When the color starts to separate, shake it and if it does not completely mix, it’s gone bad.
Moisturizers: Because of the vast differences, it depends on the brand. You should check online to see what the company recommends.
Keep in mind these are general guidelines. A great way to tell if your makeup is past its prime is the good old “see and sniff test.” If it looks “off” or starts to smell, it’s past its prime and should be replaced. If you’ve had an eye infection or another type of viral infection, it’s safest to throw out any makeup you use to avoid re-infecting yourself. And for goodness sake, stop storing makeup in the bathroom! Keeping it in a cool, dry place will ensure that it lasts longer. One last beauty “do”: wash your makeup brushes! You can buy brush cleaner but I use baby shampoo and conditioner for my natural-hair brushes, and dish soap for my nylon brushes – Palmolive is the best.
I never really understood the meaning of the phrase “for better or for worse.” I mean, of course there will be fights; of course someone will get sick, and one day our kids will probably break a leg, especially if they are born with Tom’s proclivity toward sports and my physical abilities. How much worse could it get?
This week however, I’m getting a lesson in what those vows truly mean.
On February 12, while Tom and I were in Florida visiting my family and planning the wedding, we received the worst kind of news ever: without any reason or warning, my future mother-in-law, Arlene, had passed away.
It took us 13 hours to get from Florida to New York and then to Philly, Tom’s hometown. Every second of it excruciatingly painful — watching my barely 30-year-old fiance, try to make sense of such a tragic and terrible loss.
What I’ve come to learn in the past few days is that sometimes there are no words …
I wanted to share this link to her obituary for those of you who knew and loved her, for you to share your condolences.
Arlene loved this blog. I created it in part just for her … so she could be part of every minute of planning our big day despite the distance. I wish I could put into words how much she tocuhed my life … in the two short years I had to know her. I was so excited to have her as my mother, to share the many things in life I knew we would laugh and cry about. I know now more than ever, she is with us and will be so happy to see us marry.
From wherever she may be now.
And to her, I promise to love and cherish and take care of her youngest son Tom.